Green Promotional Products

Alright, I have written enough on bags to last a lifetime already. As such, I am going to move on in my quest to document every corner of the world of promotional products and write a small post about a new wave of products - the eco-friendly promotional product. Sorry to all those readers that were expecting a post about products that are literally green - I'm sure there is a "Green Things" club that you can join somewhere on the internet if its’ that important to you.

There is incredible pressure to be eco-friendly in every aspect of our lives - probably for good reason too. Personally I don't really believe the hype; we're all going to die anyway and we'll probably destroy the world no matter what kind of shopping bags we use, or how many trees we replant. This doesn't bother me personally, but it scares enough people that I think there is something to be said for putting these poor people at ease.

So, as promotional product distributors, users, buyers, seller, lovers, eaters and such, what can we do to ensure that our industry is as eco-friendly as possible? Well, here are some ideas to get you started.

Firstly, try these eco-friendly key ring bottle-openers; made from recycled steel that is ground into powder, pressed and shaped. Apparently the powered metal is heated to 1120 degrees Celsius in order to ensure that the finished product is one continuous piece of metal! Incredible! Must take a hell of a lot of fuel to heat those furnaces, but I guess that's what trees are for. Ha. Funny guy. Anyway, the company that produces these things claims that they are unbreakable, which is a challenge enough in itself to warrant buying them!
Correct, this one is indeed branded with a Coca Cola logo. Irony? I certainly hope so.

The same company also produce recycled flash drives! Crazy eh? The little things that people think will make a difference! They offer a fully customised design service and claim to be able to make flash drives in almost any shape that we can imagine! I know what you're thinking, but I bet you can't actually imagine a chiliagon...

Other ideas include ballpoint pens made from recycled paper and bags made from "sustainable wood pulp". I assume they mean "pulp made from sustainable wood sources" because, in my opinion, when something is made into a bag, it is no probably longer being sustained. But of course, I am deliberately being an arse - it's my job. There is also a wide variety of wooden stationary available, in case the rest of these ideas were scintillating enough! I have NO idea why people associate stuff made out of wood with eco-friendliness; sustainable forests or not, they're still destroying trees to make rulers - what the hell is eco-friendly about that?!

So there you have it; a few ideas to help you understand what you can do to help make your promotional products more eco-friendly! (Make them out of recycled stuff apparently - who would have guessed?) a

Alternative Solution Number 3: Starch Bags

It sounds ridiculous, but it's true; there is a market for bags made out starch! When I think of starch all that comes to mind is old men in uncomfortable clothes, bizarre Elizabethan ruffs and potato maranading in iodine...but none of these wonderful things is used in the creation of strach bags - let me tell you more:

Firstly - I lied. One kind of starch bag is actually made of potato starch! Sadly not edible, these bags disintegrate into carbon dioxide, water and biomass in around 3 months (in "standard composting conditions", as stated by EU standard EN 13432 & International standard ASTM D6400-99 - don't act like you haven't been reading it at bedtime for months!) That's pretty good news for our eco-problem that renders both plastic and paper bags unsuitable for use, or "unethical" as they have somehow come to be defined - how a bag can possibly possess moral properties is beyond me.

But that sillyness is not the point; the point is that these bags are bigger and tougher than paper or plastic bags, but completely biograde in 10-12 weeks instead of 10-12 thousand years! They can also be printed-on and used to advertise whatever you fancy - making them fanastic eco-friendly promotional products! The downside? Well, I suppose there isn't one really...except for the cost; these badboys come at a price, and that price is incredibly expensive...

Oh wait, did I say incredibly expensive? I apologise - I meant to say CHEAP AS CHIPS! Which isn't really a fair expression to use since chips cost 99p per portion, where these bags are as cheap as £0.01 EACH (when you buy something like a BILLION of the mothers). Otherwise they're still only about £0.40-50 which really isn't that bad considering their reusable and eco-friendly nautre :)

To be honest, I expect I would decompose into biomass if you left me in standard composting conditions for 3 months, but then again you'd also have a fight on your hands if you tried to use me to carry your shopping home (I am open to negotiation; please see my Terms and Conditions*)

*I don't have Terms and Conditions - I rock and everybody else deals with it.

Alternative Solution Number 2: Onya Bags

The biggest problem with taking your own bags shopping is the amount of space that they take up. Even plastic bags are quite bulky and likely to have people looking at you funny when you have five of them scrunched up in your trouser-pocket. Enter Onya.

Onya make three kinds of bag, each better-suited to the role of carrying-stuff-around than plastic bags could ever be. Their bags are made from parachute material and hence are fantastically lightweight and won’t weigh you down in the slightest, unless you carry 10,000 of them around on you at one time, in which case you forfeited the right to complain when you signed the “Strongest Man in the World” disclaimer. Despite their flimsy appearance, loads of up to ten kilograms can be lugged around in Onya Bags; four-times more than a standard carrier bag, or so they claim!

The best part about Onya Bags however, is their capacity to scrunch. Whether it be the Onya Original in the style of a regular plastic bag, but with nice handles that won’t you’re your fingers drop off; the Onya Back full-sized backpack that compacts into a tiny pouch when not in use; or the Onya Side satchel-like bag worn over the shoulder; all Onya Bags can be scrunched up into a tiny pouch, which can be attached to your belt or bike, or hung from an appropriate piercing.


No more must we face the agony of lugging around bulky bags in which to place all of our eggs! Huzzah Onya – HUZZAH! I have possessed an Onya Side for a couple of years and used it to carry everything from books to uni, clothes to the gym and cables to gigs. I have taken it travelling through Europe with me for a month and around the USA for another month and, despite some ink stainage, it looks and works as good as new.

AMOCERI result: PASS

Onya Bags start from a mere £6.50 and could take the place of over 1000 plastic bags.

Alternative Solution Number 1: Paper Bags

Paper bags are quite often handed out as an alternative for plastic bags or, in some places, they are the commonplace method of carrying groceries; who hasn’t seen a mother figure in an American daytime TV programme, fumbling with the front door keys as she balances the bags of groceries in one arm? Or the classic American school kid grabbing their paper bag of lunch and running out the door to catch the bus to school. I’m not sure why I’m illustrating this point; it’s fairly obvious on its own.

But enough nonsence. The point is that paper bags have a reputation as being a more eco-friendly version of plastic bags; probably because they biodegrade more quickly and don’t use up as much of the valuable oil reserve (which many, many people have died for after all). What’s more, one paper bag can hold the same amount as four plastic bags AND the burn better too – for all you crazies out there. What isn’t immediately obvious, however, is that producing paper bags actually uses thrice the energy and six times the raw material than producing plastic bags! In fact, each paper bags take a gallon of water to create – a GALLON! Personally I don’t take issue with water wastage; 63% of the Earth is water so, the way I see it, waste away my friends! But you get the point…right? In case you don’t; one ton of paper pulp takes three tons of wood chippings to create; that be a lot of dead trees right there! Not to mention the amount of petrol and electricity used in the felling and moulding processes.

So, is the greater volume really worth the effort? Are paper bags a realistic alternative to plastic ones? Well, technically speaking, yes they are; they do the same job, but probably better. However, the issue with plastic bags is not that they don’t do the job, but that they are screwing up the environment in the process. Given the amount of wood, water, electricity and all sorts that paper bags use, it doesn’t seem to me that we’d be gaining any ground by changing from plastic to paper (the reverse of the financial trend). Hence I conclude that no, paper bags are not a decent alternative to plastic bags.

AMOCERI result: FAIL

Bags are for LIFE!

When you do the weekly shop (if you do a weekly shop) do you take bags with you, or do you strip them from the wad o’ bags at the end of the checkout? I expect that, like most people, you do the latter – you AWFUL person! Of course I am exactly the same; I choose to do my part in ruining the environment for the sake of not having to carry around my own plastic (or other) bags. Unlike most however, I am not going to appeal to human nature or any anti-hippy propaganda – I am happy to admit that I am just lazy. Walking to the shops is effort enough for me without having to carry all the bags I intend to fill as well.

However, the Society for Probably Totally Invented Statistics informs me that approximately 13.5 billion plastic bags are used per year in the UK alone, less than one percent of which are recycled. Given that the amount of petrol it takes to make one plastic bag could drive a car over a hundred metres, our plastic bag consumption uses enough petrol to drive around the world about 40,000 times. Hippy or not, you’ve got to admit that’s pretty messed up.

Never having been one to turn down an opportunity for super-heroics, I shall now put an end to the 100,000 cases of bird/marine life death per year from plastic waste, via a series of blog posts detailing alternative promotional bags and how much they destroy, or do not destory, the world. Join me on my incredible journey as I subject a variety of plastic-bag-replacements to the test called the Alternative Methods of Carrying Everyday or Realistic Items (or AMOCERI as it is known).