What better way to ensure customer loyalty by suggesting they are alcohol dependent? Joking aside – really, what better way to ensure customer loyalty than by providing a means by which they can actually carry liquor around in their pocket, making it available at any moment they find themselves in need of some Dutch courage? (How selective acceptable racism has become these days…)
Alright so I accept I'm being unnecessarily harsh on the idea of a promotional hip flask; one could easily fill it with frappachino or, heaven forefend, smoothie! The strange thing is that, in this age of accepted alcoholism, these things are actually considered quite trendy -yet rarely do people not drinking from the flask ever actually know what is swilling around inside. When we see a bearded man swigging from a hip flask we keep him at a safe distance in case he pukes, swings for us or passes out; we do not pull up a stool and say “You know what, I don’t think there’s whiskey in there at all! I think it’s apple juice you fraud! You’re not charmingly addicted to booze at all – you’re nothing but a wannabe alcoholic!”
So maybe these promotional hip flasks - with their large, smooth print area for your enrgraved logo - might not actually encourage the drinking of alochol at all, making them a good idea for companies that are concerned about being seen to advocate such immoral behaviour. Personally I actively encourage it; anything to change our state of conscious to one in which we forget the agony of the ironic falsity behind our perception of utter-freedom is good by me. But unfortunately there is yet another problem with this idea, which is – strangely – the same as the advantage.
Alright so I accept I'm being unnecessarily harsh on the idea of a promotional hip flask; one could easily fill it with frappachino or, heaven forefend, smoothie! The strange thing is that, in this age of accepted alcoholism, these things are actually considered quite trendy -yet rarely do people not drinking from the flask ever actually know what is swilling around inside. When we see a bearded man swigging from a hip flask we keep him at a safe distance in case he pukes, swings for us or passes out; we do not pull up a stool and say “You know what, I don’t think there’s whiskey in there at all! I think it’s apple juice you fraud! You’re not charmingly addicted to booze at all – you’re nothing but a wannabe alcoholic!”
So maybe these promotional hip flasks - with their large, smooth print area for your enrgraved logo - might not actually encourage the drinking of alochol at all, making them a good idea for companies that are concerned about being seen to advocate such immoral behaviour. Personally I actively encourage it; anything to change our state of conscious to one in which we forget the agony of the ironic falsity behind our perception of utter-freedom is good by me. But unfortunately there is yet another problem with this idea, which is – strangely – the same as the advantage.
You see, these things ARE trendy, but this doesn’t make them a good promotional product. They are trendy because they are seen to stand for everything that things like promotional products do not stand for; hip flasks are seen as a sign of rebellion, of self-destruction – of a rock n’ roll lifestyle! Not as a sign of belief in Cheap Roofing or A&M Food Safety Certification. Unless you are a cool company with a cool logo, nobody who will actually use these things will want one with your name on it – it’s a sure-fire way to go from cool to tool in a matter of seconds. Of course, the ironic truth is that any genuine alcohol dependant existentialist wouldn’t care what his hip flask says on it – but the market is in the posers and it’s the market that you’re after.
So, if you’re a cool company – selling motor bikes, guitars or liquor– you can go with one of these; ditto cigarette companies. If you’re not a cool company, just stay away from the idea – and be honest without yourselves, not of this “Sure accounts are hip! That’s where all the dawgs be at – gol’ diggin’ n’ all…” If you’re a seriously uncool company however, maybe embrace the irony and go with a post-modern hip flask that boldly proclaims that the wielder oft frequents Blossom Petting Zoo; I for one would consider buying an Alcoholics Anonymous hip flask. I’m just saying.
So, if you’re a cool company – selling motor bikes, guitars or liquor– you can go with one of these; ditto cigarette companies. If you’re not a cool company, just stay away from the idea – and be honest without yourselves, not of this “Sure accounts are hip! That’s where all the dawgs be at – gol’ diggin’ n’ all…” If you’re a seriously uncool company however, maybe embrace the irony and go with a post-modern hip flask that boldly proclaims that the wielder oft frequents Blossom Petting Zoo; I for one would consider buying an Alcoholics Anonymous hip flask. I’m just saying.
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