What the hell is a databank? Good question. It may read like a Russian call to arms, but Wikipedia declares it to be "a repository of information on one or more subjects that is organized in a way that facilitates local or remote information retrieval". So, that about clears that up.
End.
Only kidding. Much as I would love to just copy and paste wikipedia definitions (wikinitions?) into my blog posts, I have too much time and pride to stoop to such levels. So, some thoughts on these datebanks are required since, after all, I did say that I was going to try to make this interesting. How hard can it be to make databanks interesting? Ahem.
If you're anything like me, you'll do anything to look slightly more like a super-villain. Enter the databank; shiny, metallic-looking and touch screen, this "repository of information" features an abundance of features to keep you organised and entertained (providing you find inputting data to be hilarious fun). Behold the following list of stuff that databank has built into it:
End.
Only kidding. Much as I would love to just copy and paste wikipedia definitions (wikinitions?) into my blog posts, I have too much time and pride to stoop to such levels. So, some thoughts on these datebanks are required since, after all, I did say that I was going to try to make this interesting. How hard can it be to make databanks interesting? Ahem.
If you're anything like me, you'll do anything to look slightly more like a super-villain. Enter the databank; shiny, metallic-looking and touch screen, this "repository of information" features an abundance of features to keep you organised and entertained (providing you find inputting data to be hilarious fun). Behold the following list of stuff that databank has built into it:
- a world-timer (en guard magic slide-calculator!)
- a telephone book
- a scheduler with an alarm
- an address book
- a 10 digit calculator (hohoho)
- an 11 set currency converter
- memo mode
- to do mode (that's right, it can do memos AND to do lists!)
- a metric converter
- 40 major world city times (unlike the world-timer which is...something else?)
- a 3 line display (whatever that is)
- 7 languages! (and no more; try to write in Slovenian and it blows up)
- a 4-language translator (despite having 7 languages)
- and finally...wait for it...GAME MODE!
Satan Himself only knows what Game Mode involves but I'm 80% certain that it will be about as much fun as washing your clothes. I have left a 20% margin of doubt to honour the fact that hurling the databank at a train would probably be enough fun to warrant a degree of recognition.
Otherwise, that's a fairly impressive list of features Mr. Databank! Providing the user is utterly devoid of joy to start with, not much can go wrong using this piece of technology. However, even the most dull of people should be wary of one potential flaw with the databank. You see, the product description declares "these stylish promotional databanks are great for storing and whole wealth of information"! Despite not actually making any sense, this quote is also quite misleading in terms of...well, everything. I'm no expert on modern electronics, but when it goes on to boast that the databank has a full "32k data storage", I cannot help but furrow my brow. 32k? As in...32,000? 32,000 what?! Letters? Words? High-scores in GAME MODE?! Realistically; 32,000 bytes, or 32 megabytes of storage? Or does it mean 32k as in 32 kilobytes? Surely God no; that's a 45th of a floppy disk! Remember them? No? EXACTLY!
Mega or kilo; in either case the description seems to imply that this "repository of...a wealth of information" can hold either a 250th or a 250,000th as much data as my mobile phone. I wonder if these people researched a "wealth of information" before writing their product description... If their definition is anything to go by, such research would be the equivalent of tripping over a poodle.
Otherwise, that's a fairly impressive list of features Mr. Databank! Providing the user is utterly devoid of joy to start with, not much can go wrong using this piece of technology. However, even the most dull of people should be wary of one potential flaw with the databank. You see, the product description declares "these stylish promotional databanks are great for storing and whole wealth of information"! Despite not actually making any sense, this quote is also quite misleading in terms of...well, everything. I'm no expert on modern electronics, but when it goes on to boast that the databank has a full "32k data storage", I cannot help but furrow my brow. 32k? As in...32,000? 32,000 what?! Letters? Words? High-scores in GAME MODE?! Realistically; 32,000 bytes, or 32 megabytes of storage? Or does it mean 32k as in 32 kilobytes? Surely God no; that's a 45th of a floppy disk! Remember them? No? EXACTLY!
Mega or kilo; in either case the description seems to imply that this "repository of...a wealth of information" can hold either a 250th or a 250,000th as much data as my mobile phone. I wonder if these people researched a "wealth of information" before writing their product description... If their definition is anything to go by, such research would be the equivalent of tripping over a poodle.
I'm all for gadgets, despite the fact that I cannot afford to buy any. But even I, as Mr. Mc.Brokeus would be wary of trusting all my important dates and information to a promotional touch-screen databank; that is, if I could actually FIT all my important information onto something with the internal capacity of a Caprisun. I'd rather stick with my phone, again.
Despite everything said above; definitly consider this over the magic world time slide-calculator. That thing doesn't even have Game Mode. Pah.
Please note: if anybody can better explain this 32k data storage, I would be delighted to be informed!
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