5) Fountain Pens

Finally - the age-old classic, the fountain pens. Truly the only type of pen for the person who genuinely enjoys writing. Or so the claim goes. You see, I enjoy writing. But I enjoy writing in the artistic sense; choosing the right words and constructing them in such a way that they ebb and flow with the mental tides of the reader. Since it would take me fifteen times as long to write using a fountain pen, I can quite safely say that I do not use a fountain pen…because I enjoy writing. So it seems to me that the type of people that use fountain pens can be divided into two main groups. Firstly, the sensualists; people who, however much of a wordsmith they might be, love the physical act of writing as much as they love the words that they write. These people are often the best of writers and their use of fountain pens means that they can put feeling into their work, not just be the words, concepts and construction, but in the way in which the words are literally written on the page. The nib of the fountain pen allows the writer to accentuate their words in the same way that a violinist can vibrato the living hell out of the most badass note in a solo; these people rock.

Sadly there is a second category of fountain pen users; the snobs again. These are the people that use fountain pens because they feel like they should do; to maintain social status or look like they are one of the aforementioned writers, when in fact they have no idea what they are doing. Such people use the most expensive and expressive pens in the world for signing large cheques and decorating their desk and/or top pocket; a tragic state of affairs for sure and proof that the best of things should be unavailable for purchase and awarded only on merit.

In terms of promotion, I can’t really see the benefits of giving out nice fountain pens outweighing the costs. What is more, most people that will truly appreciate a fountain pen will probably resent you for running it with you logo and phone number.