1) The Biro

Where better to start than with the simple biro, or ballpoint pen; yes that’s correct, they are the same thing. Whether it is the clear plastic tube with a flimsy insert or a spring-loaded steel case containing an aluminium-coated flimsy plastic insert; they are all just ballpoints. It’s the equivalent of me putting on a suit; I would still be a bum, but it would look like I’d robbed somebody more successful. Hence, people that use ballpoint pens probably come in these three main categories.

Firstly, the student-like category of people who need to write but can’t afford to spend over 30p doing it. These people buy multi-packs of cheap plastic biros; the kind that can be melted down and made into tiny decorations when they run dry. The second group of people are the majority of pen-users; the kind of people that give little or no thought to which pen they are going to buy, but are still too proud to stoop to the plastic tube. These people walk into Staples, grab the first cheap pen they see, pay for it and leave. Time is saved, money is saved, stress is reduced; but in the world of the pen-connoisseur…an angel dies.

The final category of people who use these pens are the ones who buy the carbon-fibre, super-edition ballpoints; the kind with replaceable ink-inserts, as if they are ever going to bother replacing the ink rather than simply tossing the pen aside and picking up a reliable plastic Bic when nobody is watching. Snobbery really, isn’t it? When considering whether it is worth spending more money on fancy looking promotional ballpoint pens, remember that all you are really doing is appealing to snobbery nature and reducing the risk of staining your clients’ pockets with sticky metallic ink.

In terms of promotion, ballpoints are pretty much the cheapest pen to give away. The obvious problem is that everybody knows that they are the cheapest pens to give away and hence it doesn’t exactly look great for your company. Nicer-looking ballpoints are considerably more expensive, but will undeniably be more impressive, especially to people with very high-self esteem and very low levels of education. That being said, they are all the perfect size and shape for writing an address or phone number on…but then again so are business cards.